Discovering receipt for pregnancy test makes me fear distant wife is cheating | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE had no sex with my wife for about a year – but recently I found a receipt for a ­pregnancy test in the bedroom bin.

I want to confront her about her infidelity but don’t know what to say.

I’m 38 and she’s 34.

We’ve been married for seven years and don’t yet have any children.

I was working from home one afternoon when I accidentally knocked over the bin.

As I picked up the rubbish, I noticed the receipt.

Thinking it could be one of mine, which I need for tax ­purposes, I had a read of it.

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But it turned out it was no business expense.

It was for a pregnancy test.

I felt sick at the realisation that if my wife suspected she might be pregnant, she must be having an affair.

We have not had sex for ages.

We were arguing a lot and she was never in the mood.

I got sick of being rejected, so I just stopped asking.

Before I knew it, a year had passed.

I never dreamt the reason she did not seem bothered was because she had found herself another lover.

Worse than that, she had insisted she was not ready for kids.

When we did have sex, she insisted on using condoms.

So how could she have had unprotected sex with another guy?

The whole thing is so hurtful and disrespectful.

I still love her but I no longer feel able to trust her.

And if she is pregnant by someone else, I don’t see how our marriage could ever recover.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Discovering this receipt must have come as a huge shock to you.

But before you jump to any conclusions, do consider that there might be an innocent explanation for all this.

The pregnancy test could have belonged to someone else, for instance – perhaps a friend of your wife.

You do need to talk to her, though.

And if she is pregnant, you both have big decisions to make.

But please don’t confront her, as you suggest, because that will only make her defensive and lead to a massive argument.

Doing so means you will be less likely to learn the truth, too.

Instead, try to just talk calmly, however hurt you are clearly now feeling.

My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to have a productive discussion.

If she has been seeing another man, my pack Cheating, Can you Get Over It? will also be good to read through.

Marriages can and do recover from infidelity.

Think about couple counselling. Contact tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).

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