Ex threw me out when she saw me bonk her best mate – and I was in her underwear

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    My ex-girlfriend threw me out when she caught me bonking her best mate.

    Not my finest moment as I was wearing her underwear at the time…

    Now I’m back home with my mum and dad and feel such a loser. No girl wants anything to do with me.

    I’m sleeping in my childhood bedroom and paying rent.

    READ MORE – 'I love s**gging boyfriend's mate – we pretend to hate each other then secretly romp'

    On top of that my parents have given me a list of boring chores. They don’t want me here either.

    Meanwhile my ex-girlfriend is working in Ibiza and earning a fortune. How did I fall so far?

    • 'I have a micro-penis – there's nothing to see and I can't satisfy my wife'

    JANE SAYS: You have a place to sleep and a roof over your head.

    View this as a fresh start. Ask your folks if you can decorate your old room and talk to them about chores, rent and privacy.

    They’ll welcome you more if you negotiate with them and respect their home, rules, and routines.

    Have a realistic long-term plan because you can’t allow yourself to spiral into misery. Learn from your mistakes.

    Speak to your GP or call The Samaritans on 116 123 if you need support.

    Phony looks a turn-off

    MY girlfriend thinks plastic is fantastic.

    She loves wigs, fake tan, contour make-up and extreme beauty treatments.

    I don’t want her to have any more tweaks.

    Her fake boobs are now massive, her nose is tiny and her backside like a shelf. My parents think she looks ridiculous and refuse to invite her to family events.

    I have asked her to tone things down. I’ve got some old images of her on my phone, which she’s always begging me to delete because they’re too natural and boring.

    But I like natural. Is that so wrong?

    JANE SAYS: There is a condition called body dysmorphic disorder which is a mental health problem related to body image.

    I urge you to check out the Mind website (mind.org.uk) if you’d like to learn more.

    You need to support your girl by telling her you love and care for her and only have her best interests at heart.

    Could she do with a distraction?

    If your girlfriend’s problem is that she’ll never be happy with how she looks because she suffers from a form of self-loathing, then gently encourage her to see her GP.

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