How to increase your sex drive | The Sun

DEIDRE SAYS: Low sex drive affects most men and women at some point in their lives, but people often avoid seeking help because they feel worried or needlessly embarrassed.

It’s becoming less of a taboo, with everyone from Gary Lineker to Davina McCall talking openly about it.

What is a low sex drive?

According to the NHS, a low sex drive, otherwise known as a low or diminished libido, affects up to one in five men and even more women at some time.

It describes a lack of interest in having sex, or wanting sex much less frequently than you used to.

While it’s normal for couples to have less sex as a relationship develops, especially when children come along, going off sex altogether can be a warning sign of an underlying issue.

There are many possible causes, both physical and psychological.

They include tiredness, work or personal stress, ageing, hormone problems – such as in menopause – and breastfeeding.

Sometimes relationship problems, like resentment, poor communication or a breach of trust, can make you go off sex too.

How can you increase your sex drive?

1.   Talk to your partner

Don’t ignore the issue. If you’re unhappy with your partner, or simply bored in bed, this is something you can work on together.

Fixing this might be as simple as changing things up – trying new positions or locations, using sex toys, or going away for a romantic weekend.

If there’s a problem in your relationship that you can’t sort out, think about having some relationship counselling. You can find support through Tavistock Relationships (, 020 7380 1960).

2.        See your GP

For a man or woman of a certain age, if you’re no longer raring to go in bed, your hormones are a very likely culprit.

Testosterone is the hormone responsible for libido, and it declines in both sexes in middle age.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

For women, the reduction in oestrogen and progesterone during menopause also plays a part.

Vaginal dryness can make sex painful or uncomfortable, which is enough to put anyone off.

Your GP can prescribe HRT to help with this problem. Over-the-counter gels and lubricants can help too.

If you’d rather have a cup of tea than get frisky between the sheets, it’s also worth checking inside the contents of your own medicine cabinet, as some common drugs can lead to a lowered libido.

Ask your GP if you think a drug you’re taking might be responsible.

There could be an alternative.

3.        Get help for stress or anxiety

Work stress, not getting enough sleep or receiving a blow to your confidence – like losing your job – are well-known libido stealers.

If your mental health is poor, talk to your GP or think about counselling.

Don’t try self-medicating with booze or recreational drugs, as they’re likely to make the problem worse.

4.        Say no to sex

It sounds counter-intuitive, but sometimes the best way to rev up your libido is to take away the pressure to perform altogether.

Most read in Dear Deidre


Luca can't remember what happened on his drunken night out with the boys


I called my husband's boss to find out if he was cheating on me


My ex has accused me of raping her to stop me from seeing our daughter


My partner kept her son's wedding a secret from me

Instead of trying to have sex, focus on kissing, cuddling and massaging. You might find your sex drive returns naturally.

More information is available in our Reviving Sex Drive support pack. 


Is it normal for a woman to never come?

Is it normal to not want sex?

Whatever your worry, you’re not alone. The Dear Deidre team will be able to recommend your best next steps to help get your life back on track. 

For a support pack and personalised advice, email us at [email protected] or for a prompt response, message us on Instagram or Facebook. 

Source: Read Full Article