‘I haven’t had erection since being demoted – my missus could leave over no sex’

2023-05-11

I can't have sex. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get and maintain an erection and please my partner.

I am at my wits end and have resorted to trying various stimulants without any success. I’m desperately worried about my partner straying – as she’s a physical woman. It all started when I was demoted at work.

JANE SAYS: Talk to your partner, away from the bedroom and level with her. Explain that work events have left you stripped of your confidence.

READ MORE: 'Woman I have amazing sex with was born male – I'm scared to tell judging family'

Suggest you go back to basics with kisses, cuddles and massages. Make sex a priority and vow to build up the passion slowly.

If you’re still worried, then visit your GP for help.

I left my fella for nothing

Just after Christmas I admitted to an old friend that I’ve always had feelings for him.

To my delight, he said he felt the same way. We were so happy but conceded that there might be problems ahead with our long-term partners.

The next time we met up, we made love and it felt so natural. We said “I love you” and I was elated.

Now I’ve finished with my partner – only my lover says he can’t leave his wife because she is devastated and making things difficult. But surely he should be putting me first now?

JANE SAYS: I suspect your friend has got cold feet and is attempting to let you down gently.

He realises that getting divorced and breaking up his home is the stuff of nightmares. I’m sure that he does have feelings for you but there is no future for the two of you.

You need to get on with the business of making your own plans. Set yourself challenges and start accepting that you and he will never be.

He might be lovely guy but there are lots of lovely guys in this world. Don’t allow yourself to be bitter or a nuisance.

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