I'm fuming over Mum's iPad gift – but people say I'm entitled
My mother bought my daughter an iPad to play with when she babysits – I’m fuming, but people say I should appreciate the free childcare
- One mother took to British parenting forum Mumsnet to discuss her issue
- READ MORE: Mother told to ‘read the room’ for complaining about school fees
A woman has reached out for advice after her mother ignored her wishes, and bought her four-year-old daughter an iPad.
The mother took to the British parenting forum Mumsnet to discuss her predicament and ask others what they would do in her situation.
In her post, she revealed that she had been refusing to buy her daughter one of the expensive gadgets for months, but the grandmother will let the child spend hours on the device when she is looking after her, rather than the two interacting and playing together.
Responses to the post were mixed, with some saying that as the grandmother puts time into babysitting, the way she chooses to do it should be respected.
However, others sided with the mother, saying they believe the gadgets aren’t good for children, and that they would be furious in her position.
The woman revealed that her daughter has been pestering her for an iPad for months – and that she had repeated told her ‘no’ (stock image)
The post said: ‘Grandparents bought child iPad after months of me saying NO!!!
‘I am fuming and its causing problems between me and my husband also. My mother watches my daughter aged 4 once a week for a few hours.
‘She’s been asking for months and months if she can buy her an iPad and I’ve consistently said: “No, I don’t want her to have one”.
‘The next thing she’s bought her one and just sticks my daughter in front of it every time she visits.
‘After 30 minutes on it she turns into an irritable moody child when she’s usually so happy. What would you do?’
The woman also added another comment, which said: ‘Just to add, she will let her play on it for hours on end rather than actually playing with her.’
In response, a number of users suggested that the mother should be grateful that she is receiving free childcare.
The anonymous woman, thought to be from the UK, took to parenting forum Mumsnet to speak about the situation
One user commented: ‘I’d realise that babysitting a 4-year-old is a lot of work and probably putting a strain on her. So I’d suck it up and appreciate the few free hours I am getting child care free.’
Another wrote: ‘If it’s Grandma’s iPad at grandma’s house, you need to accept that’s how Grandma babysits and explain that you aren’t leaving your child there or suck it up if you need the help.
‘It’s c*** I know, but those are your choices as she’s clearly decided this is how she babysits.’
A third said: ‘This is why I didn’t use the in-laws as childcare. Thousands of pounds later in childcare fees, I’m still very happy with that decision.’
A fourth penned: ‘Sounds like you are very fortunate to have free, willing help. If the limited screen time (few hours a week, assuming you never put it on at home) bothers you that much, then pay for professional help.
‘A lot of people do not have the option of even asking family for support, so think you’re being quite demanding and entitled to be honest.’
Some users disagreed with the anonymous mother and said she should be grateful for the free childcare
Another person commented: ‘iPad’s are a godsend for children!!! With age appropriate games and education activities I have no problem with my kids having them.
‘They use them in preschool and school so can’t see the issue if they’re part of an overall healthy lifestyle.’
But others shared a different perspective, agreeing with the mother, and saying her wishes should have been respected.
One wrote: ‘You’re not being unreasonable at all. iPads are not suitable for young children. Your mother wants to look after her grandchild.
‘You have some rules and she needs to follow them. It’s not over the top at all for a grandmother to look after their grandchild once a week without being paid.
‘In the real world, most people don’t pay parents for one day a week of childcare. It’s lazy of your mum.’
But other parents took to the forum to agree with the woman, with one saying she would be ‘furious’ in her position
Another said: ‘I’d be stopping the childcare instantly. I believe these devices at a young age change children’s brains and you’ve seen it for yourself.’
A third penned: ‘You specifically asked her not to get an iPad and yet she did. You’re right to be p***ed off.
‘However, you need to ask yourself if your mum is coping with/willing to look after your daughter.
‘Perhaps she’s said yes, but really doesn’t want to regularly or finds it tiring?’
And a fourth wrote: ‘I would be absolutely furious!’
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