JANA HOCKING: Why divorced men are the secret to success in dating

Why divorced men are the secret to success in the dating world… but there’s one rule you MUST follow before the first meeting, writes JANA HOCKING

Singletons rejoice, I come bearing good news. A whopping 105,000 Aussies got divorced in the past two years. In fact, it’s the highest number in more than a decade. Now I know you’re thinking ‘What? That’s terrible!’ But is it dear reader… is it?

Nope. You see everyone complains that once they hit their thirties and beyond the dating pool gets smaller and smaller. But with this new batch of divorcees back on the market, it’s jolly good news.

Ok, technically it’s not great for those who have to slog it out in divorce courts, and it’s never fun to tell the kids, but as a child of divorce myself, let me assure you… it gets better. Who wants to hear mum and dad fighting (again).

Divorced men are courteous, polite and so out of practice, they tend to date old school style, says Jana Hocking (pictured) 

Now I know divorcees tend to have a bad reputation in the dating world, but as someone who has dated a couple, I can say without a doubt, they’re an untapped market that are really worth a go.

I’ve dated three in my time, and all were wonderfully excited to be going on dates again. They were courteous, polite and so out of practice, that they tend to date old school style. We’re talking calls instead of texts to set up dates, dinner in a nice restaurant as opposed to a drink in a dodgy pub. 

If you strike gold, you might even get one who hasn’t dated in such a long time, they still think it’s normal to come pick you up for the date, instead of just meeting at an agreed spot. A certain fella that pops up on Daily Mail from time to time once sent a Rolls Royce to take me to dinner. Ok, now I’m just bragging, but it really made my heart go va va voom. You just don’t see that in modern day dating.

And don’t even get me started on the bedroom antics. All I can say is **fire emoji. The guys I dated went wild for a bit of disco doona action because it’s safe to say they weren’t getting much in the lead up to their divorce.  

There’s nothing more wonderful then seeing a divorcee’s face light up at the idea of ‘getting some’ after they’ve been stuck in a passionless marriage for so long. Not going to lie, it made me feel like a saint. There’s my good deed for the year – please take note Santa.

 Think calls instead of texts to set up dates, dinner in a nice restaurant as opposed to a drink in a dodgy pub, and wild bedroom antics, says Jana Hocking

Now of course there are a couple of things you need to be wary of if you choose to dip your toe in the divorcee pool as it comes with it’s fair share of baggage.

This ‘baggage’ can be in the form of children (yes they are a blessing, but also something to consider when dating); a bitter outlook – you know – on account of being dumped by their significant other; a lack of trust if their break up involved adultery, or, often they can be overexcited at the thought of being single and want to sow their seed everywhere.

That’s why I have one rule if I want to date a divorcee properly. They MUST have been divorced for at least one year. I find two years is ideal. Why? Because they’ve had time to process the divorce, they’ve been through their hoe-phase, and they’ve hopefully let go of the past.

Lord knows I can’t sit through another date with a bloke who is freshly out of a marriage and complaining about how their ex screwed them over. It’s a date, not a therapy session.

Divorces are on the rise in Australia, leading to an untapped market that should be explored, says Jana Hocking 

 All that aside, once you get over the rollercoaster of divorce, it really can be happy days. The blessing that comes with dating someone who has already trialled their ‘starter wife or husband’ is that they tend to have learnt some solid lessons during their marriage that they’re not too keen to bring into the next relationship. 

They’re more aware of who they are, and who they want to be with in the future. They’ve navigated those initial fights over money sex, living arrangements, and they’ve learnt how to fight fair. Plus, when you’ve been through the good, bad and the ugly of a marriage, nothing really shocks you in the dating world. It takes a lot to ruffle their feathers.

So why not give a divorcee a go this holiday season? They sure are a lot of fun.

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