‘My fella bought remote-controlled sex toy to make me orgasm during Xmas dinner’
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My fella has a wicked sense of humour and he has treated me to an early present.
It’s a vibrating sex toy that I wear and he controls remotely.
He wants me to put it in place during Christmas lunch at his parent’s house.
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He thinks it’ll be “funny” watching me gasp at the table. I’m meeting his parents for the first time tomorrow.
He’s already warned me they’re uptight and snobby and could do with shocking, but I don’t like the idea of being his plaything.
How do I refuse without appearing to be a killjoy? I’m nervous enough as it is.
JANE SAYS: You must insist that sex games are reserved for the bedroom.
Your guy may believe that this plan is a wizard wheeze, but you’re not kids.
Is this sex toy noisy? Will it buzz and humiliate you while embarrassing his family?
This sounds ill-conceived and rude. Don’t you, and his parents deserve better on Christmas Day?
You must be able to say “no” if anything he suggests is inappropriate.
If he has a problem with that, then is this prankster the right guy for you?
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My bloke wants to introduce another woman into our home next year.
He says our relationship needs a kick up the backside. Apparently, this is going to be our last “boring” Christmas.
It’ll be all sex and fun in 2023 with our new lover on board. There will be no more hosting tedious relatives.
Instead of a turkey dinner, all three of us will stay in bed eating chocolates and drinking fizz. When I accuse him of having his head in the clouds, he huffs that everything needs to change if he’s to hang around, which sounds ominous.
What if I don’t want this new life?
JANE SAYS: Your guy can’t simply announce that someone new is moving into your home – and expect you to accept it.
Does he have someone in mind? Or does he plan to scour the internet for the perfect candidate? Is he going to conduct auditions?
Some people do thrive in open relationships and throuples, but you are an individual and cannot allow yourself to be swept along.
I can detect vague threats in his language, which is alarming.
Where is the consultation? What about working through your problems?
Be prepared to take a break if anything he’s suggesting doesn’t feel right. Talk to trusted friends about the stress you’re under.
- Sex confessions
- Christmas
- Family
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