My husband left me but I can't stop sleeping with him | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my husband left, I have kept agreeing to sex with him because I miss him so much.
But not only have I not found the closure I need, I actually feel worse — like a prostitute.
I’m 35 and he is 36. We were married for ten years and I hoped we would start a family.
Then eight months ago, he told me he wanted to be single again.
I was devastated and cried myself to sleep for weeks.
Just as I started to feel better, he called to say he missed me. He said he wanted to talk and invited himself round.
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When I saw him, all my feelings flooded back.
We chatted about old times over a bottle of wine, and fell into bed. He said this would help us to say goodbye.
The sex was the best we’d ever had because it was so intense and part of me thought that afterwards he would change his mind and ask to get back together.
But he didn’t. And after he had left, I felt empty and alone.
The next time he called, we had sex again, because I couldn’t resist.
It’s now been happening for months, and I’ve realised his words mean nothing. He doesn’t miss me, he is just using me when he is bored or lonely.
To him, I’m nothing more than a free prostitute. Now I wonder if he ever loved me.
I feel I’m going backwards, not moving forwards. He keeps breaking my heart over and over again.
I know I need to break this pattern.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Feelings of love and attraction don’t vanish overnight. And sex with an ex can feel both exciting and familiar – a thrilling combination.
However, as your ex knows that you still love him and want him back, he is taking advantage of this.
You are letting him do it. That’s because love really can be a drug. My support pack, Addictive Love, explains more.
The best way to get over him and to take control back is to go cold turkey.
Block him and make it clear that this can’t happen again because it’s destroying your self-worth and stopping you from moving forward.
Tell yourself, and him, that you deserve so much better than this.
Ask a friend for support. You might find it helpful to talk to a counsellor.
See my support pack, Moving On, for tips on how to get over a painful break-up.
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