Psychiatrist reveals signs of narcissistic abuse in relationships

I’m a psychiatrist and these are the 5 signs YOU are suffering from narcissistic abuse in your relationship

• Forensic psychiatrist Dr Sohom Das, London, discussed narcissistic abuse
• READ MORE: I’m a forensic psychiatrist and here’s what gaslighting REALLY means – it’s more dangerous than what people complain about on social media 

An expert has explored some of the signs of narcissistic abuse in relationships – including apologising even when things aren’t your fault and losing your confidence.

Dr Sohom Das, 44, is a forensic psychiatrist based in London, as well as a YouTube content creator. On his channel A Psych for Sore Minds, Dr Das covers a range of mental health and crime-related topics.

As a professional Consultant Forensic Psychiatrist and expert witness, Dr Das has ‘personally assessed hundreds of patients in prisons, secure locked psychiatric wards and courts across the UK’, according to his YouTube bio.

In a recent video on the channel, titled Narcissistic Abusive Relationship: What Are The Signs?, he discussed narcissistic relationships, outlining some of the characteristics of such pairings.  

According to the psychiatrist, the predominant sign you’re in a narcissistic  relationship pertains to your confidence levels.

A psychiatrist has outlined some of the signs of narcissistic abuse in relationships, including loss of confidence and self-esteem among others (stock image)

In the video, he explains: ‘First and foremost there is a lot loss of confidence so you do not want to talk to strangers or even your friends and family.  In fact, you don’t even want to leave the house.’

This consequently impacts other areas of behaviour, he explains, noting that: ‘Another indication of this loss of confidence is you have difficulty with decision making. 

‘You’re always doubting and second guessing yourself even outside of the context of the relationship.’

This can extend, for example, to having problems when making decisions at work he says.

According to Dr Das: ‘This happens because the perpetrator has gradually chipped away at your own self esteem and your confidence and other side which is kind of in some ways related is that always thinking problems are your fault. 

‘So it’s kind of accepting this blame shift. Again, I’m not just talking about decisions or behaviours within the relationship but in general.

‘So you blame yourself for example, for your difficult friends and family who, as I said, are actually just looking out for you. You’ve been kind of brainwashed to think like that.

The next sign listed by the psychiatrist is apologising, often even when it’s not your fault – especially towards the perpetrator. 

https://youtube.com/watch?v=WCwd-zdZHBo%3Frel%3D0%26showinfo%3D1%26hl%3Den-US

Dr Sohom Das (pictured) is a London-based forensic psychiatrist who also makes YouTube content on his channel A Psych for Sore Minds

‘You find yourself walking on eggshells and you spend most of your energy trying not to trigger anger or arguments from your partner,’ he explains. 

The last sign Dr Das outlines in the video is feeling isolated from others. 

Describing this in the video, he says victims in such relationships will experience feelings of isolation and withdrawal which he says will make them ‘feel alone and…like [they’ve] lost [their] sense of identity’.

Dr Das says: ‘[This is] because you’re spending so much time by yourself or with your perpetrator that there’s nothing left in terms of your social life.’

A number of viewers left comments on the video, with some opening up about their own experiences.

A number of viewers took to the comments section of the video to share their own experiences of narcissistic abuse

One wrote: ‘I definitely lost my identity at one point. I realised I couldn’t even remember the things I used to like, do etc. Took some time to remember who I was and years of recovering Im still learning.’ 

Another added: ‘I had these signs as a result of a toxic workplace…. I appreciate how clearly and succinctly you identify these signs.’

And a further commentator said: ‘The fear that everyone we encounter is just like our narcissistic family members. Coming from a large family where narcissism was pervasive, it became like swimming in a pool of alligators. So I ended up recreating the dynamic…Sometimes, we don’t even know we’ve been recreating the dynamic. 

‘And I’m famous with all who know me for compulsively apologizing. I’ve grown a great deal and do so less and less, but under stress, it will resurface. We have to learn to be gracious and merciful with ourselves.’ 

Dr Sohom Das is on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, as well as YouTube.  

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