Self-confessed bully who was nasty for 18 years helps others to be less horrible

2022-10-26

A self-confessed bully who was nasty for 18 years now trains other women to transform themselves.

Cally Stewart, 35, felt a big "power boost" when she was horrible to females including her friends and colleagues.

The mum-of-two said it made her "feel good" when she spiralled into a mean girl after being bullied herself.

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She spent the next 18 years negatively commenting on other peoples' appearances, clothes and lives to help validate herself.

Bitter Cally would make rumours up about colleagues, saying they'd slept with men to advance in their careers.

But after turning 30, where she achieved a successful career and life, the mum realised her behaviour needed to change.

She booked a spiritual retreat and worked on herself where she eventually stopped her bullying.

In October 2019, she launched a business to help others with personal development and transformation.

Cally, from Leicestershire, said: "I used to be an absolute b***h. I was horrible about others to give me a boost of power.

"I laughed about what other girls or colleagues were wearing and say awful things like 'she's too fat for that'.

"My husband thought I was a complete psycho. I recognise now how awful it is but at the time it made me feel good."

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Although she felt apologetic for the impact of her behaviour, Cally wouldn't change a thing.

She started acting out after she started answering back to her own bullies at school, realising they preyed on fear.

The mum said: "But then I realised my bullies had nothing if I wasn't scared. It was a liberating feeling.

"I became a bully and I was awful in classes. I made teachers' classes hell.

"I remember one called me out once and she told me 'life's going to be difficult for you if you carry on like this'."

Cally left school at 15 with no qualifications and worked in a coffee shop until a few years later she decided to make some changes and got a job in sales.

At 19 she had a health scare and ended up in hospital for eight weeks with a blood clot.

For the next 10 years, Cally worked hard to move up in her career, but spent her days gossiping about colleagues.

She admitted: "I'd say that women were sleeping with the men in the office to get there and awful things about how they were dressing.

"But I reached 30 and I realised that I'd achieved all these things but I still felt worthless. I knew I had to make a change."

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With the support of her husband Nigel, and their two children Milly, 12, and Hasken-Valor, seven, Cally booked herself into a spiritual retreat and worked on other ways she could cope with her past trauma.

Now she runs a business helping others to find self-love and work through their beliefs.

She concluded: "Today I look back on my past actions and I think they are awful but if I hadn't acted that way I might not have been able to cope.

"I have lots more female friends and acquaintances than I have before. Someone on my Facebook said 'you made me life hell so I can testify that was who were but can now see how different you are'.

"I think that most people who are hurting go onto hurt others because it's a way of coping. We need to get help to the people who are hurting."

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