The 20-question quiz that can tell you if you're in love

Is it LOVE… or just lust? Psychologist shares 20-question relationship quiz that will reveal how you REALLY feel about your partner

• This quiz that can tell you how infatuated or attached you are to your partner 
• Depending on your score, it can determine where you are in your relationship
• Take the questionnaire below to find out how you compare to others

Love is a many splendored thing, and it’s a concept that scientists, poets and everyday people alike have tried to definitively quantify over centuries.

It’s a subject Dr Sandra Langeslag, a biological and cognitive psychologist who is currently an associate professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, explored in a 2012 published study where she and her colleagues, Peter Muris and Ingmar Franken, defined romantic love as a mixture of infatuation and attachment.

As a part of this research, they created a 20-item questionnaire with statements that fell into these two categories, and had a group of almost 560 participants who were in love or in a relationship to fill out the survey.

The survey is intended to rank your feelings of infatuation and attachment – with the scores revealing where your relationship truly is compared to the average standard. 

For example, those with high infatuation scores were understood to be more unhappy in their romances, while those with high attachment scores were overall more content in their love lives. 

 

A 20-question quiz can tell you the status of your relationship based on your infatuation and attachment (stock image)

In their own words, the researchers defined infatuation, also known as ‘passionate love’ or attraction, as ‘the overwhelming, amorous feeling for that one special person.’

Meanwhile, attachment – which is also referred to as ‘companionate love’ or ‘pair bonding’ – reflected ‘the comforting feeling of emotional bonding with another individual.’

The researchers were able to determine how infatuation and attachment ebbed and flowed in relationships based on their answers, with the first ‘typically’ decreasing and the second increasing over time as romantic relationships progressed.

For each statement, participants were asked how much they agreed or disagreed with it on a scale of 1 to 7.

One meant they strongly disagreed and 7 indicated they strongly agreed.

Below is the quiz laid out in the study so you can put your relationship to the test.

SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWERS

Take the questionnaire: Are you in love or not? 

Statements 

Strongly agree to strongly disagree

1   2   3   4   5   6   7  

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

 

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

 

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

 

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

 

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

 

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7

1   2   3   4   5   6   7 

 

Statements 1, 3, 6, 7, 9, 12, 14, 16, 17 and 20 in the quiz were indicators of infatuation, while 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18 and 19 reflected attachment. 

After taking the survey, you can find out how you compare to others when it comes to love by adding up your responses to questions 1, 3, 6, 7, 9, 12, 14, 16, 17, and 20, and dividing that by 10. 

This is your infatuation scale score. 

‘Infatuation (or passionate love) is usually most intense in the early stages of love and is characterized by butterflies in the stomach, euphoria, and anxiety,’ Sandra told DailyMail.com.

Ready for the truth? Here’s how to work out your score 

YOUR INFATUATION SCORE 

Add up your answers to questions 1, 3, 6, 7, 9, 12, 14, 16, 17, and 20, then divide that number by 10.

YOUR ATTACHMENT SCORE 

Add up your answers to questions 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, and 19, then divide that number by 10. 

‘It typically decreases over time and as romantic relationships progress.

‘The average score of people who are not in a romantic relationship with their beloved varied between 4.0 and 4.5. 

‘The average score of people who are in a romantic relationship but do not live with their beloved varied between 2.8 and 3.4. 

‘The average score of people who live together with their beloved varied between 2.5 and 3.0, and the average score of married individuals varied between 2.1 and 3.2.’

For your attachment scale score, Sandra instructs people to add up their responses to questions 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, and 19, and divide that by 10. 

‘Attachment (or companionate love) is usually not very intense in the early stages of love, but it increases over time and as romantic relationships progress (but then decreases again very slowly over the course of decades). It is a much calmer feeling of comfort and bonding,’ Sandra said.

‘The average score of people who are not in a romantic relationship with their beloved varied between 4.6 and 4.9. 

‘The average score of people who are in a romantic relationship but do not live with their beloved varied between 6.0 and 6.1. The average score of people who live together with their beloved varied between 6.3 and 6.5, and the average score of married individuals varied between 6.5 and 6.7.’

The results are in! How does your relationship compare?

INFATUATION SCORE: This factor ‘typically decreases over time as romantic relationships progress’

Not in a romantic relationship: 4.0 to 4.5

Romantic relationship but don’t live together: 2.8 to 3.4

Romantic relationship but do live together: 2.5 to 3.0

Married: 2.1 to 3.2

ATTACHMENT SCORE: This factor ‘increases over time and as romantic relationships progress’

Not in a romantic relationship: 4.6 to 4.9

Romantic relationship but don’t live together: 6.0 to 6.1

Romantic relationship but do live together: 6.3 to 6.5

Married: 6.5 to 6.7

So, is it love or lust? What does your score mean? 

If you have a lower infatuation score and a higher attachment one, this indicates that your love ‘will endure’, clinical psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne wrote for Psychology Today.

‘Other results from the study support the idea that it’s important to distinguish between attachment and infatuation. People in relationships for longer periods of time were lower on infatuation and higher on attachment.’

Whitbourne noted that typically, those with higher infatuation scores were more likely to struggle with ‘unhappy feelings’ – suggesting that their romances may not be as solid as they might like to think.  

‘Part of the reason for this might have to do with another fascinating result: In both U.S. and Dutch samples, high scores on infatuation were related to unhappy feelings,’ she explained. ‘Conversely, people with high attachment scores reported lower levels of unhappy feelings.’

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