Woman wants to change her child's school because of the other parents

2022-09-25

Mother who wants to take her child out of school because she doesn’t like the ‘tattooed’ parents in the playground is accused of being ‘a snob’ – while others argue she is right to be worried

UK woman sparked debate on Mumsnet after asking for opinions on schools
Said other parents are ‘not like’ her at all which has made her question the school
Cited one dad who had a ‘tattooed neck’, asked if her reaction made her a snob
Other parents revealed some of the reasons they ruled out schools for their kids

A woman has sparked a debate online after admitting she’s considering pulling her child out of their school after meeting some of the other parents whose children attend.

The anonymous mother took to UK parenting forum Mumsnet to ask other people if she was being a snob after she didn’t like the way other parents were behaving in the playground, and was worried about her child playing with their children.

While many other people thought she was being judgmental there were plenty of others who agreed with her point of view and said they’d have the same worries if it was their child.

Explaining her predicament, the mother revealed she was happy to send her child to the community school initially, because it boasts a mix of people, and it does not condition children for exams as much as other establishments, making it less stressful.

An anonymous UK-based mother has sparked an online debate after asking people whether she is being a snob by wanting to remove her child from a school because the other parents ‘aren’t like her’ (stock image)

But now, she says, she is having second thoughts, as the ‘parents at drop off and pickup are just not like [her] at all’.

She wrote: ‘DC has just started Reception in a ‘Good’ (Ofsted) primary quite close to our home. There are a few super competitive primaries in our town, owing to being in Kent and the 11+ looming, no matter how tiny your kids are.

‘We have previously said that it didn’t matter if DC went to these schools really, as they wouldn’t mix with a range of children and would be drilled for the 11+, which is quite stressful. So we chose what we thought was a happy community school for them.

An anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to ask people whether they thought she was being a snob for wanting to find a new school for her children

‘This is where I sound awful, and I know it, but in your darkest of hearts you might agree with me, so bear with. The parents at drop off and pickup are just not like me at all. One charmingly neck tattooed dad this morning was swirling round the playground on an electric scooter while his kid watched.

‘All the other parents thought it was brilliant. Where did you get it etc etc? Neck tattoo man says ‘Alan, cos he’s in jail isn’t he?’ ‘Oh yeah I wondered why he wasn’t here yesterday’ etc etc.

‘A very brave receptionist came out and kindly asked him to stop riding his scooter around, and after they went back inside he and this giant gang of parents swore about her. The day before I was waiting near two women who were comparing the different ways they lie to the school about where the kids are when they bunk off.

‘DC seems happy enough, but I’m also a bit miffed that we have had no communication whatsoever about how they’ve settled in, despite them having been there three weeks now. Not so much as a word.

‘I KNOW I am a snob to not want my child to be around the offspring of parents like this, but a tiny part of me wants to withdraw DC and put them in one of the other schools locally, where I know a few parents who definitely don’t ride electric scooters illegally round and round.

‘AIBU to quietly enquire about other schools? I hate myself for feeling this way, btw, so no matter how hard you go to town on me about my snobbery you can’t beat my conscience.’

A substantial number of commentators revealed that they too had either moved or wanted to move their children from particular schools because of the other parents

A number of respondents felt the poster was being reasonable in wanting to remove their child from the school – with some sharing their stories about why they wrote off schools for their own children.

One said: ‘The parade of parents who I saw walking to school with a little one eating a Gregg’s sausage roll (and a pasty on the way home) was the reason mine never went to the local school.’

Another added: ‘I took DS out of a school like that and also didn’t encourage an activity he wanted to do, exactly because the parents were frankly rude the best. Some were scary. He was also bullied and parents of the bully thought it was funny and DS just needs to toughen up.

‘He’s in private school now where most parents have professional careers and it’s like night and day. I won’t even apologise for being a snob – I don’t really see us hanging out with most parents from the old school so I wouldn’t expect my children to do that either.’

Meanwhile another revealed that they had moved house to avoid their child going to a school they thought of as ‘rough’.

They wrote: ‘It might be snobby but I moved to avoid similar. Before my dc were school aged we lived in a city and I regularly encountered young, unsupervised children who would swear at me and damage cars.

‘We’d find needles in the park toilets, adults who left their litter all over the park, drunk people brawling outside when the pubs turned out and much more.

‘We moved because I didn’t want my dc growing up in that environment and we were lucky to be able to afford to. It had never bothered me before but when my 2 year old asked why that man can’t stand up or why those people aren’t picking up their litter it filled me with despair.

‘I get it, I know there are a whole host of social inequalities behind all this behaviour but as a parent you do want to protect your kids as much as you can.’

Meanwhile, lots of other respondents felt that the poster and other people on the thread were being snobbish, while others felt that meeting people from a mixture of backgrounds can be positive for all

However, some other posters blasted what they saw as a snobbish attitude towards other parents.

One wrote: ‘Wow, I am shocked! Is no one defending the other mothers at the school, the so called chavs! These are still human beings. I thought by the Conservative Party bashing on MN that you were all lefties. Instead you slag them off for what they eat, wear, say.

‘My ex DH left when my Ds was 9. Most mums crossed the road from me as if I was infected and they had to keep their husbands away. The more ‘life experienced’ mums supported me and listened to me cry. My Ds’s BF had a dad in prison. He was a sweet and kind boy to my ASD son.’

Another agreed, sarcastically writing: ‘Yeah, tattooed necks and eating Gregg’s sausage rolls. What is this country coming to when nice people have to mix with the likes of them?

‘They should be kept on preserves where they can’t contaminate our kids. It’s a slippery slope. One day it’s people eating pasty, and the next day you’re expected to speak to someone who earns less than £50k.’

And a third simply wrote: ‘You are a snob and so are the people commenting on this post!

‘But do what you feel comfortable with of course.’

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