As a lesbian, I relate to Mary's emotional Emmerdale scene tonight

Viewers and Vanessa (Michelle Hardwick) alike were left shocked when Mary (Louise Jameson) made a pass at her in last night’s Emmerdale. Tonight the reasons behind the misjudgement were made clear, as Mary opened up to Rhona (Zoe Henry) in heartfelt scenes.

Not long ago, Mary courageously opened up about her feelings for women, finally admitting that she is a lesbian.

Tonight, she expressed her disappointment that she had waited so long to accept her feelings.

In a heart to heart with daughter Rhona, Mary explained that at age 70, most people think that she should be ‘winding down’.

She went on to express that she feels she has ‘missed the boat’ when it comes to romance.

‘Do you know what it’s like to watch love, like it’s a sport? Like you’re always standing on the side-lines?’

In the emotional speech, she explained how hiding her sexuality for so many years has left her feeling lonely.

‘All that loneliness, I guess it had to burst out at some point.’

Though Rhona understood, she was eager to know why it was Vanessa that her mum had made a pass at, and the reason hit close to home for me personally, as a lesbian myself.

‘For one moment, I looked into her eyes and I saw me.’

As a queer writer, I am a huge advocate for LGBTQ+ representation in any form of media, but especially soaps, as I have talked about in articles before. This single line from Mary encapsulated exactly why I feel that way.

It just so happened that Vanessa, and Michelle Hardwick who plays her, were two integral figures in my own journey to understanding my sexuality.

Watching interviews where Michelle spoke about her sexuality and the storylines that Vanessa has been involved with on the soap helped me to realise that being a lesbian wouldn’t stop me from leading an ordinary, successful and happy life.

Hearing Mary express that she saw herself in Vanessa reminded me of myself, and I’m sure there are many others who can also relate.

She said that she got swept away by the thought of who she might have been, had she truly followed her heart earlier in life.

Rhona went on to explain that she will find somebody, as ‘hearts and flowers’ have no age limit.

I for one hope that, with support from Rhona and Vanessa, Mary does find someone to share her journey with.

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