People are honey trapping partners to test loyalty – but is it a good idea?

Nobody likes being caught in a lie. Especially when your actions are viewed and scrutinised by millions of social media users.

However this is the reality many are facing since the #LoyaltyTest trend went viral on TikTok.

Under this latest hashtag influencers – now turned honey trappers – are exposing cheating online, often at the request of concerned partners wishing to have their fears confirmed.

It’s a craze that has amassed over 1.5 billion TikTok views so far, with comment sections filled with those looking for a front row seat to the latest online drama.

Just last month, TikToker @MadelinetheREAL scored over 360,000 hits after posting a loyalty test video for an alleged NBA player. Although no names were mentioned, the speculation sent viewers into a frenzy.

Of course, people relishing the downfall of a cheat isn’t anything new. Before the internet, we all enjoyed hearing that someone got their comeuppance, even if we didn’t know the injured party. We all love an underdog – even more so when they get their own back.

The only real difference now is that we can digest these stories whenever we like, our insatiable hunger always looking for a new villain to hate. And, as spectators, we’re often in too deep to question the morality of these trends, with the mantra that cheaters get what they deserve, holding strong.

But what about the fallout after the videos get posted? It’s all too easy to think the drama stops once the lies have been revealed, but, if anything, it can escalate.

Besides the obvious concerns of entrapment, there’s also the emotional impact it causes the client who hires the honey trapper. Truth or lie, there’s so many ways these tests can play out, and nobody really walks away the victor.

When radio DJ Daisy Maskell spotted the trend taking hold across her social media, she decided to investigate further.

‘I noticed that my FYP (For You page) on Tiktok and suggestions on Youtube were inundated with videos of people aiding others in catching their partner cheating,’ she recalls. ‘The comment sections beneath them were split between those relishing the downfall of a stranger’s relationship and those sending in requests as a client in hopes of having their own partner’s loyalty tested.

‘This trend seemed to have a multitude of layers and sides to unpack… What does it feel like to be on the receiving end and to find out you’ve been exposed so publicly? What is the motive of the online honey trapper, are they making these videos to help others or to go viral at someone else’s expense? Does this method give clarity to those with a lack of trust in their partner or does it make matters worse? I felt it was a subject that I needed to explore.’

So Daisy did just that. As host and producer of new Channel 4 documentary Cheat Detectives, she spoke with people affected by honey trapping to uncover the ramifications of the trend, as well as investigate its darker underbelly.

To protect some of her interviewees anonymity, Daisy meets with them in the metaverse, only ever interacting with their virtual avatars. It’s a luxury not lost on them, given such previous public exposure of their behaviour.

🏀🏀🏀#loyaltycheck #ohnonononoo

‘Those hiring a honey trapper often avoid ever revealing to their partner that they have run a test on them,’ explains Daisy. ‘Targets will usually discover they have been double-crossed when a #LoyaltyTest video appears on their timeline or FYP, exposing screenshots of their conversation. At this point it has most likely gone viral and been viewed and commented on by thousands of users.’

Honey trapping is by no means new, but more often than not, they have been conducted by skilled private investigators, agencies who follow set rules and regulations regarding legality and fairness. They’re a neutral party, employed to carry out a job.

But online honey trappers? Not so much. They don’t have a rule book, and fairness isn’t always the aim of the game.

‘The #LoyaltyTest trend on social media is seen primarily as a form of entertainment,’ says Daisy. ‘Young people have identified that creating and posting videos of this nature is a way for them to boost their insights and grow their following. They are playing by their own rules, exposing and sometimes exploiting clients and targets for clickbait.’

Herein lies the problem. Even if every exposé is genuine – which isn’t always the case – the lasting impact of such private matters aired so publicly is too alarming to ignore.

‘These online loyalty tests are viewed as a form of entertainment,’ says Daisy. ‘But from speaking with those who have been the target, the impacts of strangers meddling and scrutinising their relationship on social media are long lasting.

‘In many cases these videos lack context, are constructed for the purpose of entertainment or going viral and could be perceived as entrapment. It is unethical to hire a honey trapper and to force your partner to unknowingly take part in an online loyalty test for the sake of jumping on a trend.’

Turning profit and gaining notoriety isn’t the only sinister motive behind some honey trappers and their clients, sometimes these services can be wielded as a form of abuse too.

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Rhona, a 22-year-old newly qualified NHS midwife, fell victim to a loyalty test conducted by her controlling ex.

“I didn’t actually know it was called a ‘honey trap’ until I was involved in this documentary,” she tells Metro.co.uk.

‘My ex created a fake Facebook profile as another guy who looked my age; they friend requested and messaged me. The profile had lots of mutual friends of mine, so I assumed I must know them. They asked how I was and complimented me, something like saying I was beautiful, trying to get close to me. I told them I had a boyfriend, but they persisted.’

With nothing to hide, Rhona told her boyfriend about the messages, wanting to be open and honest about what was going on. Yet still her partner feigned ignorance. ‘I told him at the time that some guy had messaged and was trying to flirt with me – I’m pretty sure my ex said something along the lines of seeing what else this other guy said,’ she remembers.

‘Eventually, because I was loyal and ‘passed’ the test, my ex admitted that it was him and he was testing me.’

 It was an experience that deeply affected Rhona, causing her to have low self worth, forever questioning her own actions – all while her ex passed it off as a perfectly normal thing to do. It created such uncertainty that Rhona started to wonder who she was really talking to whenever she spoke with someone new online.

‘I almost couldn’t trust myself; I felt on edge about new people wanting to talk to me and them actually knowing my ex and reporting back to him, misinterpreting what I said,’ she recalls.

Only after they’d broken up and she told her friends about it did Rhona recognise the severity of his behaviour. Yet still she felt guilt, certain she must have done something to warrant his suspicions.

‘I blamed myself for how he treated me because I thought there must be a reason for why he would do that, I must have done something,’ she says. ‘I’m still working on my self-esteem and self-worth now. I was so young and it has definitely had a lasting impact on me.’

Rhona’s experience is one that highlights the dangers of these so-called loyalty tests. They’re not infallible, far from it. Nor do they give any real sense of closure because, even if cheating is discovered, those involved don’t get a satisfying conclusion. The only ones who experience any satisfaction from these videos are those seeking to be entertained.

For her, honey traps hold little value in truly tackling the growing issue of cheating. ‘I don’t think it’s really helping anyone,’ says Rhona. ‘If you think your partner is going to, or is already cheating on you and you can’t communicate with them to work through those concerns, then I would say that that in itself shows that the relationship isn’t healthy.’

However, it isn’t just a question of how strong a relationship is in the first place, but also whether you’ve fully considered your actions. Can you be certain that your worries are founded in fact? If you get it wrong, the internet won’t let you take the accusation back. It’s forever online, even if you try to delete and bury it.

‘For those of us who are “innocent”, this experience can be so damaging,’ adds Rhona. ‘I just feel thankful that my ex didn’t get someone professional to do it who would’ve shared it on social media It just seems so invasive. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel the way I have felt.’

 Although Rhona is steadfast in her certainty about the damage loyalty tests can cause, Daisy is decidedly on the fence. Despite still having reservations, she also recognises that, for some, honey trapping is a useful tool.

‘Under certain circumstances I see the appeal; honey trappers allow a client to unveil their partner’s lack of loyalty on their own terms, which could potentially save a lot of heartbreak, shame and further commitment,’ she explains.

‘However, the “exposing online” element is something I highly disagree with.

‘There are so many viewpoints to consider. I hope that this documentary will prompt people to consider the consequences of exposing or dabbling with someone else’s relationship online.’

The Cheat Detectives is available to watch on Channel 4 and All4 from Thursday 20 October

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