RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Industrial action, it's time for a seasonal song

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: With industrial action growing across the land, maybe it’s time to rewrite a favourite seasonal song… welcome to The 12 strikes of Christmas

There’s been nothing like it since the Winter of Discontent in 1978/79. Unions are falling over each other to cause as much disruption as possible this Christmas. Maybe it’s time to rewrite a favourite seasonal song…

On the first day of Christmas, The unions sent to me, A strike by the RMT. 

On the second day of Christmas, The unions sent to me, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT. 

On the third day of Christmas, The unions sent to me, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT. 

On the fourth day of Christmas, The unions sent to me, No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT. 

On the fifth day of Christmas, The unions sent to me, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT. 

On the sixth day of Christmas, The unions sent to me, A dispute at the DVLC, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT. 

On the seventh day of Christmas, The unions sent to me, Another postal strike, No DVLC, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Labour sent to me, A bill for school fees, plus VAT! Another postal strike, No DVLC, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT.

On the ninth day of Christmas, They were starting to take the ‘P’..! No ambulances, Another postal strike, No DVLC, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT.

Unions are falling over each other to cause as much disruption as possible this Christmas. Pictured: Royal Mail postal workers strike in Leeds

Pictured: University and College Union members take part in a ‘March for higher education’ in Leeds. The strike of over 70,000 UCU university workers over pay conditions, affects around 2.5 million students

Pictured: Striking bus drivers attend their picket line at the Walworth Abellio garage in South London

On the tenth day of Christmas, Along came the GMB! No Border Force, No ambulances, Another postal strike, No DVLC, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Up popped the TUC! No Eurostar, No Border Force, No ambulances, Another postal strike, No DVLC, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, More repeats on the BBC… No Eurostar, No Border Force, No ambulances, Another postal strike, No DVLC, No A&E! No passport office, No London buses, A walk-out by nurses, And a strike by the RMT. 

Christ, I need a large VAT! 

This time next year, Rodney, we’ll be Superman and Lois 

The Batman and Robin episode of Only Fools has been voted the nation’s number-one Christmas TV show. Not sure about that. 

My money’s always on Eric and Ernie. But that Peckham Xmas special was priceless.

Yet again, though, Trigger stole the show. When he answered the door at the wake, in black suit, white shirt and black tie, to Del and Rodney in their superheroes costumes, the Trotters said: ‘We thought it was fancy dress.’ 

It is, said Trig. ‘I feel silly. I’ve come as a chauffeur.’ 

The Batman and Robin episode of Only Fools has been voted the nation’s number-one Christmas TV show. Not sure about that. Pictured: Nicholas Lyndhurst as Rodney and Sir David Jason as Del

Welcome to another edition of Life Imitating Minder, Part 94. ­Everybody’s getting exercised about the Albanian invasion of Britain these days, but it wasn’t always thus.

Watching an early episode of Minder this week on ITV4, Arthur was importing a batch of moody flared jeans from Albania. 

Puzzled that nobody wanted to buy them, he wondered: ‘What’s everyone got against Albania? At least they were on our side during the war.’ 

Terry explained that the quality of the denim was so poor, they’d only last about two weeks. 

And, anyway, he said, Levi’s is spelled with an ‘i’, not a ‘y’!

Watching an early episode of Minder this week on ITV4, Arthur was importing a batch of moody flared jeans from Albania. Pictured: George Cole as Arthur Daley

Source: Read Full Article