Valerie Bertinelli Opens Up About Past Relationship With A 'Narcissist' Who Called Her 'Fat & Lazy'

Valerie Bertinelli is still healing from a past relationship that left her traumatized.

On Monday, the actress posted a video to Instagram where an overlay of text said:

“Why did you let them stay after finding the texts?”

In the audio of the video, she whispers “I don’t know” in response to the question. You can see the video in question (below):

A post shared by Valerie Bertinelli (@wolfiesmom)

She posted another video shortly after, marking her progress on her “dry January” alcohol cleanse, saying she’s been feeling much better — but without the distractions of food or booze, she’s been reflecting on the past. And those past memories are exactly what led her to making these videos:

“I’m happy because I physically feel better. I’m getting better sleep, but I’ve noticed that – oh boy – lots of feelings are coming up. I need to feel. Because what I used to do is try to soothe them or at least try to ignore them with food or alcohol. And I don’t want to do that anymore. Wow, so many feelings coming up.”

The Hot In Cleveland star then detailed some abuse she faced from a past relationship, saying it left her feeling unworthy:

“I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am. I realize…that was someone just projecting on me whatever they needed to project on me, but my part in all of it was believing it, and I don’t believe it anymore. But it still doesn’t stop the feelings from coming up and the hurt.”

Just awful…

She didn’t name any names, but she was married to Eddie Van Halen from 1981 to 2007, then Tom Vitale from 2011 to just last year. Her messy split from Vitale has fans raising their eyebrows at him, but we’ll never know what truly went on unless she decides to tell.

Luckily, it seems like she’s putting all this behind her, though. Valerie finished up the video on a high note, saying she’s on the road to recovery — and of course offering encouragement to anyone else that may be struggling with something similar:

“So that’s what we’re doing today. We’re feeling the feelings and letting them go. Giving them a voice. My core is happiness and joy, and it gets covered with the stupid things people say to me that I started to believe. I’m saying this because I know a lot of you out there feel the same way, and you’re told shit that’s not true. It’s not true. Someone’s trying to dim your light.  F**k ’em. Shine bright.”

Amazing to hear! We’re so glad she’s doing better!

Ch-ch-check out the vid (below):

A post shared by Valerie Bertinelli (@wolfiesmom)

Later on, the 62-year-old took to her Instagram Stories to clarify what she meant by her posts. Speaking directly to her fans, she thanked them for allowing her a safe space so they can all heal together from their past traumas and help each other. Getting more into detail, though, the One Day at a Time alum revealed she’s currently in therapy to “get over” her past and find out what made her “tolerate the intolerable.”

Explaining her situation, she said therapy is helping her feel like she deserves a “better life”:

“By searching for that, by healing that, I have just put a better life forward for myself, a more joyful, a more happy life. … I finally feel like I deserve it.”

Addressing her previous video post, the actress said she’s over her relationship with the “narcissist”:

“ long over the narcissist … I have moved on from the s**tty part, and I am going into the really, really hard part that has the most benefits to it.”

Getting help and healing after leaving an abusive relationship is never an easy feat, we’re so proud of Valerie for doing what’s best for her and speaking out for others who need the encouragement. Reactions, Perezcious readers?

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