I found black stockings and lacy knickers in our bedroom and think boyfriend is having an affair | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: I FOUND a pair of black stockings in the bathroom and then some lacy knickers in the bedroom.

Neither are mine, so I’m worried my boyfriend is having an affair.

When I asked him about the items, his reaction didn’t add up so now I’m watching his every move.

I am 33 and my partner is 35. We have been together for three years.

I thought we had a great relationship, until I returned from a two-week stay with my parents.

When I got home and went to have a bath I found these stockings in plain sight, lying on the floor.

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It was not a brand I wear or recognised so I knew they weren’t mine.

My partner denied all knowledge of how they got there.

He assured me he had not been cheating.

He suggested that perhaps they had been dislodged from behind our free-standing bath, but that didn’t make sense as there were no cobwebs or dust on them. They looked pristine.

He then just dropped the subject and carried on as normal.

But surely he should be just as curious as me as to how they got there.

A week later, while putting away fresh laundry, I came across a pair of women’s knickers, tucked under his side of the bed.

His explanation? They must belong to whoever rented our home before us and have fallen out of some corner.

It doesn’t add up. I am very confused as my partner has always been reliable, honest and trustworthy.

I am now doubting my own reasoning. I can’t help but think he has had a woman visitor.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not sure your boyfriend would leave tights and brand new knickers in plain sight if he was having an affair.

Instead, it feels like he is trying to tell you something, by leaving clues to hint at his news.

Have you considered he could instead be cross-dressing?

If this is the case, it will feel like an agonising secret for him, and he could well be hoping you will work it out.

If he is cross-dressing, these are deep-seated feelings which are a part of his identity.

Like many men he may feel a need to express his feminine side and this is his outlet.

It isn’t necessarily sexual, nor does it mean he is bisexual or gay. He would still be the same person you love.

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My support pack on Cross-Dressing Worries explains.

You can find information at the Beaumont Society (beaumontsociety.org.uk, 01582 412220).

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