I kept a secret photo diary to expose my abusive husband

I was so sure my ‘lovely’ husband would kill me that I kept a secret photo diary of my injuries so that everyone would know what he was REALLY like after I died

  • Sarah Rowland, 51, from Surrey, was convinced Joseph Alcock would kill her
  • In his last vicious attack he kicked her unconscious and left her for dead 
  • Read More: How brave domestic violence victim filmed her abusive boyfriend

A mother has described how she was so convinced her husband would kill her that she began secretly documenting her injuries as evidence.

Sarah Rowland, 51, from Surrey, was left with permanent scarring following brutal attacks by her husband of ten years, Joseph Alcock.

The brave mother-of-two found the strength to leave him but in September 2020, she agreed to meet with him in a pub to discuss their separation.

In his last vicious attack, Alcock, 43, punched Sarah to the back of the head as she was leaving before kicking her unconscious body on the floor for up to an hour.

She was found in the road three hours later by a passer-by.

Sarah Rowland, 51, from Surrey, with her abusive husband of ten years, Joseph Alcock. The brave mum-of-two found the strength to leave him but in September 2020, she agreed to meet with him in a pub to discuss their separation

Sarah has described how she was so convinced her husband would kill her that she began secretly documenting her injuries as evidence

Alcock was jailed last month for nearly six years, but Sarah still believes that he will come after her when he is released.

Sarah said: ‘It took me many years to stand up to him, and I still believe he will track me down when he gets out of prison.

‘I just want other women to stand up and speak out about violence in the home because otherwise we all stay silent behind our front doors and it carries on. 

‘I want other women to learn from what I have been through. It is so important to walk away before it is too late.’

Sarah and Alcock met in 2010 when he came into the taxi office where she worked as a controller. They got chatting and six months later, began a relationship.

Sarah said: ‘He seemed lovely; outgoing and sociable. We went out for meals or to the cinema. I had two children, and at first he appeared to be a good father figure.

‘Ironically, he seemed very protective, he wanted to look after me.’

The couple were married in September 2013 but Alcock was becoming increasingly aggressive and violent.

Sarah and Alcock met in 2010 when he came into the taxi office where she worked as a controller. They got chatting and six months later, began a relationship

Sarah was left with permanent scarring following brutal attacks by her husband of ten years

Sarah said: ‘It started with him gripping me hard in arguments. Then he would punch my back, where nobody would notice a bruise.

‘Often, he lost his temper if I pulled him up for lying. He used to tell all sorts of lies and he didn’t like it if I or anyone else pointed them out.’

The violence escalated to the point where Sarah needed hospital treatment. On one occasion she needed 30 stitches inside her mouth. On another, Alcock stabbed her in the leg.

Sarah says: ‘I wanted to tell someone, but he was sat next to me at the hospital each time, so I didn’t dare blame him. I was too scared to talk to the police.

‘I felt a loyalty to him as well which looking back, is hard to explain. But when you are in that situation it is very hard to find the courage to leave.

‘He attacked me whilst I was asleep, he’d hit me for no reason. I was absolutely living on my nerves. Yet to the outside world, he was a lovely man, and we were a happy family.’

Sarah became so convinced that Alcock would kill her, she began secretly documenting her injuries, so that his violence would be exposed after her death.

Three years ago she finally managed to leave him. By September 2020, Alcock was running a pub for a friend, and begged Sarah to meet him there after his shift.

Joseph Alcock, 43, was jailed for almost six years in January after admitting multiple assaults in his last attack he punched Sarah to the back of the head as she was leaving before kicking her unconscious body on the floor for up to an hour

The couple were married in September 2013 but Alcock was becoming increasingly aggressive and violent


The violence escalated after their wedding to the point where Sarah needed hospital treatment (left). On one occasion she needed 30 stitches inside her mouth (right)


The years of abuse resulted in her leaving a job of 17 years as well as being put on medication by her GP. Guildford Crown Court was told she was left with a permanent scar on her lip following one attack in November 2018 (right) 

She says: ‘He wanted to discuss details of our separation. He said he was very depressed and I did feel sorry for him. I was meeting him in a public place so I thought it was safe.’

But when Sarah tried to leave, he attacked her from behind, punching her so hard in the back of the head that she blacked out. 

He kicked her as she lay on the floor unconscious, before he threw her outside.

Sarah says: ‘I have no memory of this but I must have regained some consciousness because I began staggering in the direction of the town, to get a taxi.’

She collapsed again and was found in the road, unconscious, three hours later. She was rushed to hospital and treated for a head injury.

For the next few months she was in and out of hospital with concussion related dizziness and nausea.

The court heard she felt ‘too ashamed’ to tell people that she was ‘living with a monster’ so she stayed 

 Sarah added that she had spent the last three years ‘hiding away and in a constant state of fear that he will find me’

She says: ‘This time, I knew I had to go through with a court case. He could have killed me.’

Joseph Alcock was jailed for almost six years in January after admitting multiple assaults.

Guildford Crown Court was told she was left with a permanent scar on her lip following one attack in November 2018. 

During the incident he punched her face with such force that it left her lip needing approximately 30 stitches and eventual surgery.

Prosecutor Wendy Cottee told Judge Robert Fraser that Alcock, 43, had subjected her to a ‘persistent and vicious series of attacks.’ 

Most of them were to the head and face and also included being stabbed in the leg with a knife, hit while she was asleep and her body jammed against a door and radiator that left her with bruising.

The court saw chilling CCTV footage from the early hours of September 6, 2020, inside the Prince of Wales pub in Hampstead Road, Dorking.

Clips showed the pair together in the empty venue at around 2.45am before he knocks her to the floor.

At one point, after she stood back up and attempted to exit the pub, he hit her from behind and rendered her unconscious.

Ms Cottee said: ‘It’s quite clear she is unconscious and one thing he doesn’t do is call for assistance.’

After coming round and suffering more kicks and punches from Alcock, she left the pub and was later found by a female passer-by on the side of a road, unable to stand and with dried blood on her top. She was taken to hospital for treatment.

In a victim impact statement, Sarah told the court: ‘I only decided to start to document my injuries in 2017 so that if Joseph killed me there would be a timeline of the assaults becoming more severe before my eventual death.

‘I had ended our marriage and left our home where we had lived for 10 years with my daughter and had been living at undisclosed addresses for over a year when Joseph last assaulted me; having never experienced being knocked unconscious and having no recollection of what happened to me over an 8 hour period was very scary.

‘After learning I was found at the side of the road by a stranger, this has left me knowing that whatever the situation between us he will continue to assault me if has the opportunity, it shocked me into finally engaging with the relevant authorities.

‘I was and still am under no illusion that as the assaults towards me have escalated, I will one day lose my life at the hands of Joseph.

She added that she had spent the last three years ‘hiding away and in a constant state of fear that he will find me.’

She said she felt ‘worthless and ugly’ with ‘no confidence any more’ following the attacks and added: ‘No matter what the sentence, I have to live with the physical and mental scars.’

The years of abuse resulted in her leaving a job of 17 years as well as being put on medication by her GP.

The court heard she felt ‘too ashamed’ to tell people that she was ‘living with a monster’.

She admitted: ‘Being in the same room as him is scary but I have to stay strong.’

Speaking on Alcock’s behalf, defence barrister Jim Olphert said he was ‘deeply sorry for the pain he has caused’ and admitted that ‘his temper flares when he has had a drink’. Alcock claimed he had been a semi-professional boxer when he was younger.

He had two previous convictions that he was fined for, one involving sending ‘threatening texts’ to Sarah in 2016. 

In May 2022 a warrant was issued for his arrest after he failed to appear in court for the various assault offences.

Judge Fraser sentenced Alcock, of no fixed abode, to a total of five years and 10 months in jail after being convicted of four counts of ABH and two counts of unlawful wounding. 

The judge called the defendant’s actions a ‘sustained campaign of domestic abuse’ and labelled him ‘controlling’ and a ‘violent bully’.

Sarah has received support and help from SUTD – Stand Up To Domestic Abuse.

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