I'm 50 and sex with my husband has become painful and find myself avoiding it | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: SEX has become really painful and I think it must be down to my hormones.

I’m a woman of a certain age – 50 – and for the past few months it’s really hurt to have penetrative sex.


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Even though my mind is willing and I want to be intimate with my husband, who’s 52, my body doesn’t respond like it used to.

I try to grin and bear it but I think he can tell I’m not enjoying it and afterwards I’m sore.

Sex has always been an important part of our relationship and we used to do it two or three times a week.

Now I find myself avoiding it and I’m worried it will spoil our marriage.

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I still have periods and I don’t have hot flushes but I wonder if my problem might actually be down to the menopause.

I’m too embarrassed to mention this to my husband because it makes me feel old and past it.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You’re not old or past it and, with some support, you should be able to enjoy sex again.

The menopause can make sex uncomfortable for some women because a lack of oestrogen leads to reduced natural lubrication.

Make sure you focus on foreplay, and using a lubricant will also help.

But you may need HRT, so please make an appointment with your doctor.

My support pack, Love And The Mature Woman, has more information.

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