Meet the people who have sacked off their families to spend Christmas alone

While many people wish for some peace and quiet over the Christmas period, few ever get it.

There’s always too many friends to visit, mouths to feed and squabbles over the remote to be had.

But there are some people who have decided to do Christmas without all the bells and whistles, and spend the day by themselves.

It’s thought that every year, around 4% of Britons spend Christmas alone – this number rocketing to 1.7million during the last-minute winter lockdown of 2020.

Having some much-needed time to themselves, or setting off on a solo adventure, is a better Christmas present for them than anything anyone could buy.

Here, Metro.co.uk speaks to three of them on why they’ve chosen to dodge the drama – and why they simply cannot wait for this Sunday.

People overhype it too much – it’s just a day

Giles Brown, 54, is a broadcaster based in Marbella. He’s chosen to spend Christmas Day on his own for the past 11 years.

I’ve never been into the big, traditional family Christmases. My mum died several years ago and my dad met someone else and did his own thing with them.

But in all honesty, I’ve just never been into Christmas. It’s something that’s for children, really. I’m a 54-year-old single guy without kids, and the thought of little ones running into my room at an ungodly hour asking: ‘is it Christmas yet?!’ certainly does not spark festive joy.

I’m a broadcaster by trade, with a radio show on TalkRadio Europe – an English-language broadcaster in Spain. On Christmas morning, I host a live show from the studio (wearing a big silly hat because it’s Christmas) and it’s brilliant.

It does feel like I’m at a Christmas lunch with loads of people. There are a few sob stories – a lot of expats feel lonely during the festive season – but I’m surrounded by people who just want to chat to me.

I have people ring up and tell me about family engagements and pregnancies. It’s my favourite show I do all year. When I have people tell me I’ve made their morning, especially if they’re on their own, it’s the best Christmas present.

All I want to do after such a busy start to the day is go home and chill. I’ve usually got some festive pizza in, and so if the weather is nice, I’ll sit on my terrace, with some food, some soft drinks and just relax.

I’ve got a lot of godchildren – some in Spain, and some in London, so I make sure I have a quick chat with them. Generally, I just potter until the evening, then I put on a Bond film. It must be a Sean Connery one – either from Russia with Love or Doctor No – and I’ll crack the Terry’s Chocolate Orange in front of a roaring fire. For me, I just have a relaxed time, kicking back and enjoying it.

For the rest of the year, I have an amazing social life – I’m always going to parties and functions – so Christmas is where I get to have a little downtime and recharge my batteries.

But that’s not to say I spend Christmas completely isolated. On Christmas Eve, I have a very small dinner with two of my goddaughters and their mother. It’s just a nice, low-key event – there’s no grand exchange of presents.

After Christmas, I see my dad for a quick coffee. It may not sound very festive, but Christmas in Spain goes on for weeks – there’s things to do and celebrations until 5 January, so I can go and enjoy those any time I like.

If you have a festive traditional Christmas, super – I tip my cap to you. But don’t feel as if you have to be in a John Lewis advert. Be your own present to yourself and do whatever you want to do.

You should always seize the day – even on Christmas!

Mollie Millington, 44, is a marine biologist. This year, she’s leaving her husband in Bristol to embark on a bucket list adventure holiday to Antarctica.

When lockdown forced us to stay indoors, I would fantasise about my bucket list adventures. I had saved a significant amount of money, so I decided to take the plunge and book one of my dream holidays – an excursion around Antarctica.

I liked Ranulph Fiennes’s book Cold and rather fancied the idea of being a female adventurer.

I didn’t initially book the trip for Christmas, but Covid meant it kept being delayed. I work as a marine biologist, which means work is extremely busy all year round. Christmas allows a brief respite, so the festive season meant I could enjoy the trip to the full.

Life as a marine biologist in general is often quite solitary. I work at the Francis Crick Institute in London with fish and frogs. Every day, someone has to come in to feed the animals and check on them, regardless if it’s a holiday or weekend.

I’ve had to go in on Christmas Day before – a few years ago, I had to spend it totally alone, feeding the animals before catching a flight to be with family in the States.

This will be the first time I’ve not spent Christmas with my husband since we married in 2010. We had a little break away a few weeks ago where we exchanged gifts, otherwise we’re not doing anything really festive. He got me some things for my trip – he got me a map of where I’ll be going so I can mark it when I’m on the ship and frame it when I get home.

Still, he isn’t over the moon that I’ve booked to go away throughout Christmas. With the full excursion costing nearly £9,000 for three weeks, he was shocked about the amount of money I spent. But he knows that this is my dream holiday, and he would never tell me not to go.

Part of the trip sees me isolated on a boat while we travel. You can get WiFi, but it’s around $400 for a few weeks, so I may go without. It is going to be hard not speaking to my husband – he’s my best friend, we usually text all day so I am going to miss him.

But I’m glad to be going on my own. I can do exactly what I want and take every opportunity of this bucket list trip. If I was with my husband, I might feel more obligated to be accommodating. This trip is just me being selfish and doing something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

The first few days on my adventure will see me fly out to Buenos Aires before I get on the boat. I’m looking forward to exploring and climbing a few glaciers. On Christmas Day, we should be passing Drake’s Passage, so it’s going to be a rough few days of choppy water – definitely no roast turkey for me.

I’m trying to ensure my life is full of adventure: I moved from the States to the UK in 2010 and I’m pretty confident being on my own. When I’m away, I meet loads of new people. It certainly helps being American, I’m not shy.

While I think people do have traditions, you do grow when you’re outside your comfort zone. You have to remember to seize the day, so don’t let people hold you back. It always leads to a really good growing experience.

Christmas doesn’t mean forgoing boundaries

Rebecca Morgan, who is in her thirties, has chosen to spend her last few Christmases in her own place in London.

I find it a lot easier to spend Christmas on my own, as I think it creates a better environment for everyone. I feel more at ease spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at home.

As I’ve got older, I’ve noticed dynamics changing between family members. As significant things happen in people’s lives, relationships can be different and that can lead to tension. I’m much more aware about my own mental health and where my boundaries are, and that just doesn’t have to go out the window just because it’s Christmas.

Different generations have different views on Christmas. My dad always says I shouldn’t spend it on my own – but it’s very much my choice. For me, 25 December is just another day. There are times where I worry about my family getting older and how many Christmases I may have left with them, but I make an effort to see them all year round – what’s an extra roast dinner?

On your own this Christmas?

Lowri Dowthwaite, lecturer in psychological interventions at University of Central Lancashire, has some tips to ensure you still enjoy the day:

Stay connected

‘Christmas can be a difficult time to be alone, so it’s important to remember that you can still enjoy the festive period even without visiting friends or family.

‘Make a plan for your day ahead so you have plenty of things to look forward to. This could include a phone call or a video call with friends or family, so you are still connecting with others even if it isn’t face-to-face.

‘Send some electronic Christmas greetings to brighten up someone else’s day, and this in turn will brighten yours and help you feel connected with family and friends.

‘If you’re missing a loved one this Christmas, you could also try lighting a candle for them.

Treat yourself and plan ahead

‘You can give yourself something to look forward to by treating yourself to something special – this could be something indulgent to eat, or a gift or experience which adds something new to the day.

‘Use your senses to enjoy the moment. Take the time to smell some Christmas spices, eat something sweet, listen to Christmas music, or have a warm bath. Getting outside and going on a quick walk can also be a great way to invigorate and revive yourself.

‘Christmas day can be a perfect time to focus on your goals for next year. Write them down and tell someone about them so you are more likely to try and achieve them.’

There’s still such a taboo around choosing to spend Christmas alone, but I feel some people struggle to understand the pressure there is to have a perfect day and the impact it can have on your wellbeing.

This year feels manic and crazy and lots has gone on in my personal life. Christmas gives me time to do things at my own, where I can have a lie in, cook a nice breakfast, watch some TV. I want low pressure and no expectations. I don’t want to force a smile if I’m not feeling it.

I think it’s nice not to put unnecessary pressure to be in a good mood and be really sociable. I always worry that people can see through it, which causes more tension for everyone.

I still have a pretty traditional Christmas. I get up late, go for a walk with some coffee, and speak to my family on my phone. I still cook a turkey dinner for myself, and then I watch film, read books or do puzzles. That’s the joy of being by myself. If I want to spend five hours doing a jigsaw and switch my brain off, I can.

It’s my preference for now. It may not always be like this – it’s something I consider year on year where I work out what’s best for me.

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