‘We’re hen party planners – Maids of honour can be bridezillas too’

2023-06-04

For many of us, going on a hen do conjures up images of pink sashes, tinned cocktails and wild party games. But for Chloe Gilham, Samantha Spring and Emily Davis it’s just business as usual. Having established their hen party planning company Cluck seven years ago, sorting out group travel arrangements and dealing with last-minute dropouts is just part and parcel of the job.

“For research, we set aside one Saturday each month to try out the best hen party activities on offer,” says Chloe, 36. “Last weekend we enjoyed some drag bingo and dressed up as prisoners at a jailbreak-themed cocktail bar – it’s an unusual job to have.”

The trio have been privy to some drama, too. “There’s not a lot that we haven’t seen,” says Emily, 32. “One bride fell out with her sister, who was the maid of honour, because they disagreed on what they wanted from the hen party.

In the end, the sister completely dropped out of the bridal party and the bride had to plan everything.”

Sometimes entire parties have been left divided after a fall-out. “Once we were asked to organise a second secret hen party because the maid of honour had become too domineering,” says Chloe. “We agreed and threw two parties – one with the maid of honour and one without. To this day, we don’t know if she ever found out.”

Despite the drama, the team at Cluck assure us that planning a hen party needn’t be stressful. “It’s about someone’s love, so it should be a happy occasion where you celebrate that person and their relationship,” explains Samantha, 35.

Here, Chloe, Emily and Samantha share their top tips for making a hen party a night to remember (for all the right reasons)…

Figuring out finances

With the average hen do now costing around £242 per person, 44% of people have declined an invitation due to costs. Cluck has noticed an increase in multi-activity parties that allow guests to choose how much of the event they wish to attend – and therefore how they’re willing to spend.

“Splitting your day into different activities makes sense so guests can choose to attend, say, two of the options rather than spending money they don’t have on joining in with the whole day,” says Chloe. As for who pays for the bride? “In 80% of situations, the hen party will divide the costs,” says Emily. “Brides pay their own way 10% of the time, while 10% have a relative pay.”

Location, location, location

Due to the cost of living crisis, fewer hens are willing to splash out on parties abroad, according to the trio. But if your heart is set on a Parisian getaway, limiting your expectations of others is essential. “It’s unreasonable to expect people to spend hundreds of pounds on a hen party. If you want to go abroad, choose a group of three or four friends and tell them at least 12 months ahead so they can prepare,” says Chloe.

And if you want to decline an invitation? “Tell them as soon as you’ve made your decision. Going along with a plan that you don’t intend to stick to can cause others to lose money,” Emily says. “If you’re a close friend you should be open with your reason but if you’re a distant connection, a little white lie is acceptable.”

WhatsApp etiquette

With hen parties there’s a fine line between organisation and chaos. While it can be tempting to share of-the-moment thoughts, they can have less helpful consequences.

To avoid that, Samantha says, “One bride created a chat where she shared the itinerary then turned the replies off so people couldn’t comment until two weeks before the party. It sounds extreme but it’s a great way of keeping plans clear.”

Chloe suggests, “If you’re organising the hen party with a core group of friends, create a main chat for all guests and another for those who are organising. Also try to limit banter. A hilarious in-joke to you and a few friends won’t be funny for a work colleague of the bride-to-be.”

Ditch the bar

While Dutch courage may help some people to come out of their shell, it’s recommended to avoid alcohol until the end of the day.

“If you begin the day with an activity that involves sitting down and drinking, like a bottomless brunch, the dynamic naturally encourages hens to form their own cliques,” says Chloe.

“It’s better to begin with an event that everyone can do together, like a dance class or art workshop, so the hens can bond over the activity.”

She adds, “Leave going to a bar until the evening when everyone’s warmed up.”

Out with the old

What kind of images come to mind when you first think of a hen party? Strippers? Penis straws? Not in 2023!

“We’ve never organised a stripper for one of our hen parties. Brides these days just aren’t opting for them. We’re seeing a lot more life drawing, though. That’s quite saucy without feeling sleazy, and it’s also a lot less embarrassing for the bride as all eyes aren’t on her,” explains Emily.

“Life drawing is great because it gets everyone giggly and is a group thing,” adds Chloe. “You might want to ask the bride if she’s OK with it as it’s not about you finding something funny, it’s about her enjoying the day. Always remember, it’s about her, not you.”

Age appropriate

Compiling the guest list for a hen party is largely the role of the bride-to-be. Maids of honour need to then plan a bash that’s appropriate for all the guests, whatever their age. That may seem like an impossible feat, but there are ways to keep everyone happy.

“A hen party doesn’t need to be debauched from start to finish. Begin with a canal boat trip or a candle-making workshop and then build up to the night-time naughtiness,” says Samantha. “That way mums and grandparents have the option to enjoy part of the hen do while opting out of other activities without feeling excluded.”

For more information, visit thisiscluck.com

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