My husband is going through an almighty midlife crisis… | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is about to turn 55 and is going through the mother of all midlife crises.

While he’s certainly interested in ogling younger women, he has completely gone off having sex with me. 

If he’s not having an affair already, I’m sure that is only a matter of time.

I’m 53, and we have been married for 15 years. We were both wed before. His former wife said he was selfish, and now I can see why.

He’s obsessed with going to the gym, every day after work, and has lost a lot of weight. 

He seems to be trying to get a six-pack, which is ridiculous for a man of his age. 

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He keeps admiring himself in the mirror, while flexing his muscles. Lately, he’s been going on sunbeds too — and he looks dayglo orange.

Suddenly, our old car is no longer good enough for him, so he spends the weekends visiting garages and looking at expensive sports cars. 

And I’ve noticed him ogling young women in the street, which feels very humiliating  for me. 

At the same time this all started happening, he also became less interested in sex with me.  He always had an excuse — too tired, too stressed with work, just not in the mood.  

When we tried to make  love, he made no effort to make me aroused or give me pleasure. 

He always used to love giving me oral sex and foreplay, but now he doesn’t even want to kiss me.

It’s left me feeling  insecure and unattractive. 

I try to eat healthily and keep in shape, but I’m obviously not able to compete with 25-year-olds. Nor do I want to. I thought my husband and I would happily grow old together. 

Instead, I’m now sexually frustrated, and worried that he’s going to run off with a younger woman.

Is our marriage doomed?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, I’m afraid it is if your husband refuses to recognise and care about your deep unhappiness. 

It’s time to talk and see if you can repair your relationship – if that’s what you both want – before you grow further apart.

Tell him that you’re unhappy with your sex life and worry he’s no longer interested in you. 

Rather than blaming him, explain how you’re feeling. 

My support pack Male Midlife Crisis should help.

Try to persuade him to seek couples counselling with you. Even if he won’t go, you could talk to someone alone.

Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org).

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