Kelsey Parker shares heartbreaking confession of guilt after husband Toms death
Kelsey Parker has admitted to feeling guilt over the death of her late husband, Tom Parker, and how she is experiencing things he no longer can.
The Wanted’s Tom Parker sadly passed away in March of 2022 after a long battle against an inoperable brain tumour that he was diagnosed with in 2020.
Tom and Kelsey welcomed two children, Bodhi, two, and Aurelia, three, before his death.
Kelsey, 32, appeared on Good Morning Britain on Thursday morning to discuss her late husband’s passing and how Christmas will be especially hard for her family.
Speaking about her documentary, with the first episode airing tonight on ITVBe, host Kate Garraway asked Kelsey whether it was hard inviting the cameras into her life at such a turbulent time.
Kelsey replied: “Do you know what for me? I was. So when I first got asked to do it, I was a bit worried and be like, can I actually do this, but for me it’s the best thing that I've actually done, because it's actually been therapy for me, and I've done things in the show that I wouldn't necessarily have done but it's massively helped me.”
“It’s really pushed me, out of my comfort zone as well.”
The show’s other host, Ben Shephard, then questioned how she views grief now that she has spoken to other people who have lost loved ones.
Kelsey said that she “didn't really understand what grief was” despite it being the “biggest thing” that could happen.
She continued: “ But with grief, you can feel so many different emotions all at one time. So you can be happy, you can be sad, you can be angry, you can be obviously there's guilt, there are so many different elements to grief that you just don't even understand until it actually happens to you.”
Further opening up about the guilt she feels, Kelsey said: “There's massive, there's so much guilt. And that's what is a thing through the show that I've just got a lot of guilt for. I know that I did everything for Tom. But I don't know even still there is just that guilt process of I've lost him.”
“I look at my kids every morning. And I'm like, I'm guilty, that he's not experiencing what I'm experiencing with them.
“And he would want me to be happy. And that's it, isn't it, that's all I can do. He's not coming back, he has died. And it is just me and my beautiful children left behind.”
Kelsey also found it difficult to choose which of Tom’s possessions to keep, given that “you just want to keep everything.
“But then you then are constantly reminded of certain objects. And it's like, the memories are here and here in my heart. So an object doesn't actually mean anything, but you don't realize, you know, the struggle to actually get that out of your house.”
Kate then spoke about the new campaign they are launching to tackle loneliness in the UK, particularly at Christmas, which resonated with Kelsey, who is also worried about the festive period.
“And it's really hard for my friends and family because they can't imagine how I actually feel you know, Christmas is going to be so tough for me this year. Last year Aurelia did understand the Christmas process,” Kelsey explained.
“We're not gonna wake up Christmas morning together as a family, it's gonna be me and the kids. “
When host Ben, who recently dubbed Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby a “strong team”, asked whether there are things that Kelsey still struggles to address, she explained that she can no longer listen to Tom’s music.
The mum-of-two explained: “I just can't listen to Tom's voice. It just actually breaks my heart. And I think music was such, like, it was so relevant in our relationship, like we've been together for 13 years. Music was our life. And for me, it just is really hard for me to listen to his voice, something so personal. It's so personal and Tom's lyrics are so raw as to what he thinks now actually reflecting on it.”
“Do you think you'll get to the point where you can listen?” Ben, 47, followed up, to which Kelsey said that she “hopes so.”
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