Fellas kind heart is killing sex life – we cant bonk without aunt hearing

My partner is the kindest person you could meet.

He would do anything for anyone. He once drove 50 miles at midnight to fix his gran’s beeping smoke alarm.

Another time he rescued a friend who’d been thrown out by his partner. The mate was wearing nothing but socks. My guy brought him back and he stayed for three months (for free).

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But it annoys me that people take advantage of his good nature.

At the moment our tiny house is packed to the rafters. As well as his freeloading brother, there’s a surly ex-colleague, aunt, and her rude teenage son.

None of them are contributing a penny, yet all of them are eating and drinking for Britain.

I’m sick of it. What about me? When do I get to enjoy some private time with the man I love? Our sex life is non-existent because we never get a moment to ourselves.

This is a new-build, and the walls are wafer thin. Every time we even attempt to get jiggy his aunt bangs on the walls. I’m going crazy with sexual frustration.

I love my guy and respect the fact that he is a generous, compassionate person, but I sometimes worry that he is a push over who allows himself to be sucked in by unscrupulous, freeloading users.

How do I get him to start putting me (or even himself) first for a change? I have tried talking to him, but he says he feels guilty when he has so much, and others are struggling. Plus, he finds it very hard to say “no”.

JANE SAYS: Everyone has their limit. The problem is your guy’s in danger of wearing himself out – and losing you – to help others.

Of course, it’s wonderful of him to dedicate so much time and energy to good causes, but he’s not Superman.

Of course, there are always emergencies in everyday life; helping out his grandmother was necessary and kind. But how come he seems to be the go-to guy for everyone else?

Do people view him as a soft touch? At the moment you have a houseful of waifs and strays.

Why aren’t they contributing anything? Even if they’re not working, then surely, they’re receiving benefits. Why can’t they donate to a general kitty? I suggest you organise such a thing – and don’t feel bad about it.

I urge you to make changes and level with him before your relationship falls apart. He needs to hear that neither of you can go on like this. Yes, you admire his compassion, but you don’t have endless funds or unlimited patience. You and he need to talk to your house guests in turn about moving on.

If they need help, then do your best to support them but also set a clear moving out date as this set up is unsustainable.

Then set about making your sex life a priority again.

He has to promise you that there will be no more dramas as your relationship needs cherishing and nurturing too.

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