I only stuck with my cheating wife for our kids’ sake but she's at it again

DEAR DEIDRE:  FOR years I loved my wife despite her cheating, but now I’m not so sure.

We’ve been married for 30 years. It was 25 years ago, when our kids were young, that I first found out she’d cheated. She had sex with various other men when she was meant to be out with girlfriends.

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I stuck with her for our kids’ sake and because I loved her but she cheated again when she had the chance.

Our children have left home and there have been signs she’s at it again. She shows me no affection and sex is minimal. She insists she loves me and doesn’t know why she cheated. But I’m 57 and don’t want to live the rest of my life like this.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am not sure if your wife really doesn’t know why she cheated or just doesn’t like to say. But it is clearly fundamental to the problems in your marriage.

Before walking out after so many years, ask her to do couple counselling with you to see if you can heal the relationship. 

If you do then leave, you will be more confident it is the right decision.

See relate.org.uk and tavistockrelationships.org.

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