My boyfriend drinks so much he ends up wetting himself and being sick

We’ve been together 18 months. I am 22, he is 28. He’s always drunk a lot.

When we got together he said he wanted to change but it didn’t last. He spends all his wages within two days and then borrows from friends.

We argue a lot. He asks me to help him cut down his drinking but then tells me to get off his back. He refuses to get help because he thinks he isn’t an alcoholic.

Over Christmas and New Year he was drunk by mid-morning every day. I told him we were finished and he cried, promising he would stop drinking but I know it will never happen.

I love him but I feel more like his mother. I don’t think he will ever change.

DEIDRE SAYS: He has to realise how destructive his drinking is and decide for himself he wants to change. You can’t do it for him.

Staying with him gives him the message that his drinking is acceptable.

Tell him that you love him but cannot live with his drinking, and walk away. My e-leaflet Dealing With A Problem Drinker explains where to find support.

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