My husband is devastated that I have been faking orgasms and don't like sex

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I admitted to my husband that I had been faking orgasms, he was utterly devastated.

I have since taught myself how to orgasm but that is still not enough for him.

We get on well but I have never had any interest in sex. I am 32, my husband is 33. We got together 14 years ago.

I enjoyed the kisses and cuddles but, when we actually had sex, it left me wondering what all the fuss was about.

My husband has always wanted more sex than I do and we had a heart-to-heart a few months ago about why.

I confessed that I had never had an orgasm. I looked online and found out how to do it for myself, then I told him.

The problem is that he is not content with one orgasm in a sex session. He goes on and on until I am ready to have another and another. I find it such hard work to keep going.

I am happy to include oral sex, toys and dressing up, but I refused when he wanted extreme bondage.

I was upset but he said everyone else does that kind of stuff. He shouted at me and told me how boring I was.

I told him I wanted to be romanced but he says that is boring.

DEIDRE SAYS: It was a blow to your husband’s pride when you said you’d been faking orgasms but that honesty opens up hope of a more fulfilling shared sex life – if only he could back off a bit.

Tell your husband that he needs to open his mind to what you would and would not enjoy as much as you try to meet his needs. Stop anything when you’ve had enough.

My e-leaflet on Sex Games And Sense will help you find a better balance.

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