Our neighbour drunkenly told my wife I am her son's father and now I sleep in the car

I am 27 and my wife is 24. This neighbour has lived next door for four years.

She is 31 and became very close friends with my wife.

This woman split up with her husband three years ago and had a party to celebrate when her divorce came through.

My wife got drunk and went home to bed but I stayed on.

Things got out of hand and I ended up having sex with our neighbour after everyone else had gone home.

Three months later she told me she was pregnant and it was definitely my child — because she’d not had sex with anyone else in the past six months.

She told me she did not want to be with me and had no desire to break up my marriage, so we agreed to keep it between us.

She said she would never tell her child who their father was. Her little boy is now two and is the image of me.

My wife came across some photos of me at two years old and commented about how strong the likeness is. I shrugged it off as coincidence.

Last year our neighbour got together with another man and seemed happy. But he left her and she started drinking heavily.

Then, last week, she invited my wife round to share a bottle of wine one evening. My wife wasn’t that keen but felt she ought to go.

Apparently, our neighbour was drunk when she arrived and after a couple more drinks suddenly blurted out I am her son’s father.

My wife was distraught. She stormed back home and threw me out of the house. She’s told all our friends and family and they want nothing to do with me, so I am now sleeping in the car.

She’s only letting me in the house for 15 minutes to have a shower before I go to work in the mornings. I’ve been such a fool. How can I rebuild my life?


Partners struggle to know how to help.

My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire is a straightforward self-help guide.

For a copy email [email protected] or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, you’ve been a fool and, above all, I worry for a two-year-old little boy whose mother is drinking too much and who doesn’t know his father. He’s really paying the price for your stupidity.

Tell your wife how sorry you are but also how worried you are for your son’s welfare. Talk to your neighbour about how damaging her drinking is for the little boy. Everyone needs to wake up to what’s best for him.

If you’re to have any say in this, you need to ask for DNA tests to prove he is your child. Yes, that means you will be liable to support him but doesn’t he deserve that, as well as your loving involvement in his life?

Talk it over with Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).

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